I’ve been thinking a lot about expiration dates lately; when various things end.
Some objects have clear expiration dates stamped on them in little blocked ink, like eggs or cartons of milk or a bag of mixed greens. Other things don’t have them in clear and present print, but they still go bad all the same. Apples or tubes of lipstick, laundry detergent, a pack of batteries or can of spray paint: they all have limited stretches of time they can be used and then they’re done, whether or not it’s visible to the eye.
Things fall apart. It may only take seconds or it could take entire eons. Your clothing, the cars you drive, furniture you fall asleep on, entire buildings you may or may not have entered will be brought down by decay over the years. Those years become decades that add up to centuries, and soon it’s another millennium entirely. Think of how hard it is to casually come across anything original more than a century old, much less three or four.
It will all come to an end and we can’t escape that.
Sometimes specific things in life you wish could last forever will end, and those feelings never gets any easier to accept. Time spent in particular places, periods of your life, friendships, romances, lives of people or pets you cherish: all of these things will be here one day and gone the next. The universe has been hosting the longest going out of business sale in history: everything must go.
I saw this quote the other day that letting go doesn’t necessarily mean you feel any differently than you do or did, which I always thought was the case. It just means surrendering to something outside of your control. Some people surrender to a higher power but I don’t think I believe in one anymore. I don’t know if I still believe in fate or destiny or things happening for a cosmic reason. Maybe we’re all just over-evolved primates trying to make sense out of a senseless rock floating in space, one we’ve properly messed up and polluted and wrecked. It’s not as romantic a notion, but it’s just as plausible. So I’ve been playing with the idea of directionless surrendering. Surrender unto nothing.
My domain’s expiration date is at the end of April and I don’t plan to renew it. I’ve had this site for almost three years and it’s been a complete failure from the original vision I had for it. Blame unrealistic expectations and no follow through.
I always thought I could still turn it around, but that time passed. I don’t care to try to anymore. Hopefully any future Matt Hubens thrown onto the mortal coil will be able to make better use of it than I did. Or maybe someone will make another hate site for me – someone did that with a Myspace at the beginning of high school. I actually forgot about that until just now. In hindsight it’s more amusing than it was at the time. Should that happen again, it’d be nice if it were more clever and creative than the last one. If you’re going to take the time to do something like that all on your own volition you may as well put the effort into it.
There will be some more posts after this one, but I don’t know if they’ll all be visible. Some of them may be password protected. If they are, I’ll leave clues so you have a fighting chance at being able to see them – if you care to. I don’t know if you would, I barely care enough to write them truth be told. But since I dropped some money last April to keep this up for another year and have barely touched it since, it figure I might as well get something out of it. Even if it’s only temporary.
I hate the idea of anything being wasted – water, food, resources, energy, time, feelings, etc.
Our culture comes in disposable now. People throw away so much before it’s reached the expiration date. Either that or they don’t touch it at all until the date has come and gone and then it gets tossed, maybe without ever being opened. Try to think about that last part outside the scope of only material objects.
We live in a crazy time.